Kirstin Hayes

Kristin Marte Demorest Hayes, M.D.

November 28, 1983 — August 31, 2026

A bright light, lovingly remembered.

Obituary

“I’m not a regular mom. I’m a cool mom.”

– From Kristin Hayes’ Facebook profile

After decades of battling severe immunodeficiency, Kristin Marte Demorest Hayes died at her home on Monday, Aug. 31, 2026. She was 42.

Kristin was born on the day after Thanksgiving in 1983. She came a week early, which was prophetic since she was a person who hated to be late for anything. Maybe she somehow knew early on that she was going to have to squeeze a very big life into way too small an amount of time.

Kristin was one of five children, smack dab in the middle of a sister and 3 brothers. Being a middle child in a large family, she learned early how to work extra hard to stand out in the crowd. She was a natural nurturer with a huge heart. Her kind personality often made her an easy target for her brothers’ pranks, but despite her annoyance with their jokester ways, her siblings always knew she loved them fiercely. She had their backs; no one better mess with her sister and brothers!

As a child and teen, she loved dance, playing musical instruments, and Girl Scouts. When her brothers started playing lacrosse, the sports bug bit her, too. She played lacrosse and hockey, always in the goalie position. Her determined, fearless, and protective nature made her a natural in goal.

In high school she started running cross country, basically on a dare from the coach. Although not a natural runner, Kristin actually learned to love running, a sport that was frequently described with the phrase “our sport is your sport’s punishment.”

Making memories at Disney — a family favorite.

She finished her high school sports career as a state champion and all state 1st team lacrosse player, captain of both the lacrosse and cross country teams, and the winner of the Seaholm High School Women’s Athlete of the Year Award.

Kristin’s focus wasn’t only on sports and championships. She wanted to go to Harvard University. (It didn’t hurt that they also happened to have a Division 1 lacrosse team.) She dedicated herself to academics the same way she did sports. Even though some teachers told her Ivy League schools might be too high a reach, she worked and persisted and showed them all they were wrong when she was accepted by Harvard and also recruited to their lacrosse team. She played lacrosse all 4 years at Harvard and graduated with honors as a psychology major.

It was during her years at Harvard that her immunodeficiency first made itself known, but it didn’t seem like a big issue at the time and she just “played her way through it.”

Running a race, 2007 — the love affair with running was just beginning.

It’s no surprise that such a caring, kind and generous person decided to choose the rigorous and demanding career of medicine. To prepare for medical school she completed a premed year at Bryn Mawr College in Pennsylvania and then spent a year working for a researcher at Wayne State University who was studying pain management techniques in sea slugs. This led to her family learning how much sea slugs love seaweed since one of her jobs was their care and feeding.

During this time Kristin also began experiencing more issues with infections and started some medical treatments designed to boost her immune system. This helped stabilize her condition and seemed to make it a non-issue.

Kristin accepted admission to The University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health in Madison. It was here that she met Mike Hayes, not in person but through an online dating site. The fact that they met at school in Wisconsin was ironic since Mike was from Ypsilanti and they had both actually been born at the same hospital. Mike was a law student at Wisconsin, and once these two met that was it for both of them. They were engaged and then married within a year.

A year later their daughter Madeleine arrived. Aside from the blessing of Maddie herself, the pregnancy seemed to push the immune issues back into the background, and Kristin didn’t even need medication to manage it. Five months later she graduated from medical school and matched her OB/GYN residency at The University of Michigan. So the little family moved back to their home state, making the grandparents very happy.

Dr. Hayes — graduating into the career she worked so hard for.

Her background of teamwork, hard work, and perseverance learned from sports proved very valuable to Kristin for surviving and thriving through the demands of residency. Even though the hours were long and demanding, she still found time to prioritize her family. She and Mike decided to add to their family with their first Bassett hound, Fred (Weasley). And after a pregnancy loss they adopted their son Miles.

When Kristin graduated from residency, she and Mike decided to move up north to Cadillac so she could work in a hospital that had a shortage of OB/GYN’s. They got a house and lived on a lake and enjoyed the northern Michigan lifestyle for a year. But then her illness really started to impact her life.

During residency Kristin had experienced many more infections but assumed they were related to long hours and little sleep. Unfortunately, after their move to Cadillac, she started experiencing many more symptoms and infections and began what would be a long series of extended hospital stays.

She had to stop working, giving up the career that she’d worked so hard for. She had to stop running because she wanted to conserve her energy for her family. She became a stay-at-home super mom: baking, crafting, painting, sewing, and making treats for school events, birthdays, and Maddie’s hockey teams.

Between hospital stays she planned and organized trips and vacations for the family. She knew that with each infection and hospital stay her time was ticking away and the most important thing to her was making memories for her family to have when she was gone.

Daily reflection in my email that feels so fitting this morning…

“Surrender is not about giving up. It’s about giving over – giving everything over to God. It is not a loss. It’s the liberation of the soul from the exhausting illusion of control. It’s paradoxical and counterintuitive, but surrender is an essential ingredient of freedom.” — Vic Clesceri

– From Kristin Hayes’ Facebook page, April 12, 2026

Kristin’s illness gradually chipped away at her, taking away not only her health but her strength and energy and her ability to participate physically with her family. But it never took her dignity or her love for others or her devotion to her family. Right up until the end her every thought and action was for her children, her husband, her siblings, her parents, her extended family, and her wonderful friends. She expended her last amount of energy making memory boxes for her children and extended family that were filled with things that had been precious parts of her life. She made contact with old friends. She worked to resolve any issues she felt were lingering in her life. Everyone who has been touched by her love is so grateful to have known her.

Kristin was welcomed to Heaven by the loving arms of many family members who have gone before her, especially her baby daughter, Parker Emma; and her loving grandparents, Maud and Ray Demorest, Jane Button, Janet and Howard Trapp, and Mack Hayes. Also there to happily greet her were her many beloved pets, including George, Ginny, Emmett, Dauber, and Bo.

Kristin leaves behind her amazing husband, Michael Hayes; her beautiful daughter, Madeleine; and her kindhearted son, Miles.

Kristin is the beloved daughter of Mark and Pat Demorest and sister to Melissa (Demorest) and Jeff LeDuc, Matt Demorest and Lindsey Sundin, Ryan Demorest and Bridget Demorest (Hughes), and Kevin Demorest and Katie Demorest (Tuson). She’s the beloved daughter in law of Mark and Carol Hayes and sister in law of Mallory (Hayes) and Tom Bonnell.

Kristin was the amazing Auntie (or also Aunt Kita) to Cooper Demorest (18), Calan Sundin (17), Colby Demorest (16), Carter Sundin (15), Eva Demorest (11), Claire Demorest (11), Mae LeDuc (11), Emery Demorest (9), Riley Demorest (9), TJ Bonnell (9), Harley LeDuc (8), Brooks Demorest (8), Dottie Bonnell (7), Ella Demorest (6), Maren Demorest (6), and Wilder Demorest (4).

Kristin is also survived by her grandfather Phil Button and her aunts and uncles Jim and Anne Button, Mike and Stephanie Button, Cathy and Chuck Benscoter, Linda and Jon Davis, and Glen and Marcia Demorest, as well as many, many cousins and very dear lifelong friends.

In lieu of flowers a website for donations to Maddie and Miles’ future educational plans has been established: https://www.supportnow.org/hayes-four-hope

Visitation will be held from 4:00 pm to 7:00 pm, the evening of Thursday, Sept. 24, 2026, at Life Story Funeral Home, 400 Hammond Road West, Traverse City, MI 49686.

A Celebration of Life for Kristin will be held on Friday, Sept. 25, 2026, starting at 11 a.m. with a gathering of family and friends and Mass at 12:15 p.m. at Christ the King Catholic Church, 3801 Shore Road, Williamsburg, Mi 49690. Burial of cremains to follow.

Kristin’s brother Matt Demorest is hosting a luncheon gathering of friends and family on Saturday, Sept. 26, from 1 to 3:30 p.m. at: Five Shores Brewing, 163 South Benzie Blvd., Beulah, Mi 49617. Everyone is invited to attend!

For anyone interested in attending Maddie’s hockey game Saturday morning before the above gathering, the game is at 10 a.m. at: Centre Ice Arena, 1600 Chartwell Drive, Traverse City, Mi 49696

Please visit www.lifestorytc.com to share your thoughts and more.