Myrtle Brimmer

“Bootstraps”

Few people write their own life story.

I got to, with help from my Rosie and Timmy.

Doing this brought back such memories, laughter and tears.

You have to know - my kids put me up to this.

I never talk about myself this much.

Later, I threw out lots of stuff,

just because they got me to say things

I’d never talk about in public.

The short version of “Bootstraps” and my Final Wishes are in my funeral program.

Here’s the long version.

- Myrtle Jane (Flinn) Brimmer

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I. Humble Beginnings

I’m Myrtle Jane (Flinn) Brimmer. I was welcomed into this world on July 28th, 1933, by James and Della Flinn in Genesee County, a little part of Flint, Michigan. I joined a family of four brothers; Clyde, Bob, Douglas and Milton and two sisters; Joyce and Hazel. Two and a half years later, my baby sister, Mary Jo arrived.

Life was hard, and our rag-tag family moved often. The Great Depression was on, and no one had money back then, except those who already were “old money.” Our landlords were not comfortable with the large size of our family. When Mom managed to find a run-down place and make it livable, the landlord would see how she had fixed and cleaned it up, so they’d put the house up on the market and sell it! Mom always warned us: “When the landlord comes to collect rent; never let him in!” Her reasoning was simple; “They’ll see what we did to the place and we’ll be back out on the street.” I remember one of the homes mom rented - the whole end of the house was out. She always scoured the neighborhood for cardboard to cover the studs. That helped to block out the wind. Then, she’d cover the cardboard with tarpaper. Some folks called this a “tarpaper shack.” We called it home. We thought we had the world by the tail, thanks to Mom's ingenuity and creativity.

My father had an interest in everything – everything, that is, except our family. He was a fish peddler. On the side, he sold whatever else he could. He was always on the road – when he wasn't making babies. When I turned two, mom asked him not to return. He must have obliged her, because he no longer came around.

Mother made us feel wealthy in our own way. She providing for us by cooking, cleaning and crocheting for rich folks. When I was four, mother married Roy Wineman. I gained four brothers in the deal; Jimmy, David, Al and Charlie. Daddy was a great partner for her, and I thought of him as my “real father.” We finally had a stable life, living all together, with a home and a large garden. We had a roof over our heads and food on the table.

Things went well until Dad got sick. He had worked in the foundry for so long that his lungs couldn’t take the toxic air pollutants. The doctor told him if he chose to stay at that job, he would only last another six weeks. Unfortunately, he decided to quit work about the same time that our barn burned. We lost our bean harvest in that fire, and all of our livestock. It was terrible to see our crops and animals destroyed. We were forced to move again, only this time, immediately.

II. Teen Years

We headed up north, about 100 miles from Flint, and stopped in Summit City. There was lots of snow. Mother, being the great seamstress that she was, found a job quickly at a casket company, then a cherry factory and then at Munson hospital, before finally ending up at the Park Place Hotel. She had a terrific job there, as the hotel matron. She was in charge of all the maids, the laundry and the housekeeping. She had a gift for managing people well, and held this position until she retired, many years later.

I was happy with our farm life in Summit City, attending Kingsley schools and making many wonderful friends. I was quite enjoying life until one of our neighbor's relatives came to visit. His name was William (Bill) Brimmer. I was only 13 years old when he first showed up, but I looked like I was 18. It was because I loved to run, which made me look stronger and older. Bill would come out to cut pulpwood with his relatives, the Kitchens, in their swamp. On one occasion (I was 15 at the time), I choose to skip school to go for a ride with Bill in his new pickup – a real, low, snazzy looking truck. We were off on an adventure to visit his mother on the Old Mission Peninsula!

We were also following a school bus...a bus that stopped unexpected to let a rider off. “Tailgate Bill” was not expecting the abrupt stop. Some say that his attention must have been elsewhere, but he claims that his truck brakes locked up, which caused us to wreck his snazzy pickup. It also banged me up pretty good; knocking out two of my front teeth. X-rays later found two more of my teeth, lodged deep inside my mouth. My knee was banged up so badly that it ended my running. Boy, did I get catch it for pulling that stunt. The moral of the story is; if you're ever going to skip school, don't get in an accident that lands you in the hospital! Mother was a cook at Munson Hospital at the time, and I remember her face as she entered the emergency room....big beads of sweat covered her face, with terror written all over it. She was scared. Bill looked awful and I looked terrible. Our injuries were a high price to pay for keeping us from getting a scolding. I was in such trouble with both of my parents.

III. Growing Up With My Kids

Happily, the moment I first met Bill, knew that I would be his wife. The terrible accident only seemed to strengthen our bond. We waited the required nine days after I turned 16, and mother, surprisingly, signed our wedding certificate. Bill had a blue suit so he bought me a blue dress to match, with all the fixings. We stopped at the local Pilgrim Holiness Church in Traverse City to see if the pastor there was able to “tie the knot” for us. That was August 6, 1949.

We began our life together in Traverse City, in a tiny walk-up apartment on 11th street. It was within walking distance to City Light and Power, where Bill had begun work as a meter reader. We didn't have enough money for a car (remember our smashed truck?). Our kitchen was on the landing; a two-burner, electric hot plate, a table and two chairs. We shared our bathroom with the landlord who lived downstairs. Another renter had the adjacent bedroom. What a difference this was from our 60-acre farm in Summit City! When our budget allowed, we’d go out to a movie or a dinner at the Bean Pot, where, for 60 cents, we could buy a plate of ham and beans. For entertainment, we liked to go for walks. Bill usually worked nights, so he had to sleep all day. I read a lot. Relatives would stop by for short visits. There wasn't room, and we only had one chair – a rocking chair.

That’s where Ruthie was born, on November 23, 1950. That sure changed our lives! I weighted 98 lbs. at the time. We went for lots of walks. Without a stroller, Bill carried Ruthie, often around the corner to Grandpa Grant and Grandma Mable Brimmer's house on Lake Avenue. Grandpa was blind and played the violin. Grandma would sing all four stanzas of every song. They gave us each a piece of candy each time we visited. When the landlord found out I was pregnant with Andy, he said we couldn't live there anymore.

IV. Our First Home

Our first home; 617 Hastings Street in Traverse City, Michigan, was really a two-car garage. We were so happy with that little garage! At first, we thought we were going to rent it from Bill’s aunt, but they were moving to a bigger house and told us we could buy it on land contract! We always paid cash for everything, but had to buy our first furniture on credit; a used stove, a used refrigerator, a small table and chairs, even a bedroom suite and a baby bed! We bought a set of bunk beds for Andy and Ruth, and another for Tim and David. Bill took on a part-time second job to keep up with our growing family as a washer and dryer repairman. The money he earned paid off the credit we had borrowed each month.

Each child brought more joy to our family, and the need to expand our little house. When Andy arrived on August 5, 1952. Bill put a partition in the living room, creating a small bedroom for Ruth and Andy, and a smaller bedroom for Bill and me. That’s when he moved our entrance to the other side of the house, which was nice. Who wants an outside entrance to their bedroom? These remodeling projects weren't easy or cheap, because our house was built of cement blocks. Each addition was dusty and time-consuming. Bill was inspired by the book; “How to Build Your Dream House with $7,500.” Matthew arrived on November 27, 1953. He was a perfect little boy, but Matt was our climber; always falling from the top bunk, from the Christmas tree, or from the stereo. Tim arrived, long and lanky, on January 9, 1956. The nurses couldn’t get over my baby being 23.5” long. David was born November 3, 1958; the spittin' image of his dad. Rose waited the longest; gracing our family with her black, black hair on April 4, 1962; Cousin Gary took one look at her and claimed “Chinese; made in Japan!” Our family was now complete.

Early on, Bill enjoyed reading “how-to” books to learn about construction, electrical wiring, plumbing, roofing, and so much more. With no role model or mentor, Bill taught himself how to become a jack-of-all-trades and master of most. With his growing list of skills, our second addition seemed so huge; we added a bedroom on the front of the house for our four boys, and a living room. We converted our old living room into a dining room, expanded our kitchen, with cabinets, added a utility room for our washer, dryer and furnace, added shelving for storing our canned fruits and vegetables, and moved the back door to the side of our house. More importantly, we replaced our old, dangerous, ringer-washer with a real washer and dryer, added a bathroom and hot running water! No more frozen towels and diapers out on the winter close lines! Later projects included a back porch, sidewalk and back patio, a storage shed that Bill called our “White House” (guess what color it was!). Our last big project on Hastings Street was also a learning opportunity for our boys; Andy, Matt, Tim and David helped Bill build a garage/workshop! I was up on that roof, helping nail shingles! Hard to believe, in my condition, isn’t it!

V. Life On the Farm

Bill was a good dad; constantly trying to teach his boys about life. So, with nothing left to do in town, we bought a farm on a $50/month land contract, and that's when the “fun” began. We had 40 acres of blood, sweat and tears on Fryzelka Road between Buckley and Interlochen and 19 miles from Traverse. Those were the happiest times of our lives; converting the remains of an unfinished farmhouse, dilapidated barn and several fallen down out-buildings into a working farm. We scoured farm auctions and bought a WardsTrack, 100 hp hydraulic tractor, a horse-drawn mower, a antique hay loader, and a two-bottom plow. We made two hay wagons, and our precious hobby farm was in business! We planted a full acre of garden, and raised pigs, chickens and cows. Matt got a horse, Lady. When he discovered she had a bad leg, Mr. Stafford brought a gelding, Jeff, to replace him, but “forgot” to pick up Lady for a whole year. So we had two horses for the kids to enjoy. We even raised pigs for pork and bees for honey!

We hauled all of the debris from the outbuildings into a pile to burn in the deep winter snow. We hauled tons of garbage from the house; skunks, dead animals and more. Then we got serious; rebuilding the stairs and bedroom partitions, and pouring concrete to buttress the basement and foundation. Until our hand-dug a septic system was finished, we use an outhouse.

Bill and the boys removed one dilapidated chimney and replaced the other one with new bricks and cinderblocks, re-roofed and re-sided the house, and replaced all of the windows. We put a pot-bellied stove in the living room until we could heat our farmhouse with a massive, cast-iron furnace we removed from an old, one-room schoolhouse. Bill wired the entire house with electricity (after all, he knew how to run a power plant!), and did all of the plumbing. When we bought the farm, there was only a single pipe from the kitchen sink to the outside. For Christmas that year, our family was blessed with an upstairs toilet, sink and bathtub! The last thing we did all together on the inside of the house was insulate and sheet-rock the whole upstairs and downstairs, making it cozy in the winter and much cooler in the summer! With milk from our cows and eggs from our chickens, we were real, hobby farmers, even if we had to close up most of the farm for the first few winters.

Our garden was wonderful every year; rows of peas, beans, potatoes, strawberries, rhubarb, cucumbers and four corn harvests, not including Tim's 87-day popcorn. We canned tomatoes, peaches, pears and apple sauce, and we froze sweet corn. My marigolds kept the bugs out from the garden, and Bill’s horseradish kept all of the potato bugs away. Every summer, we had a whole row of beautiful gladiolas that spruced up our house. They were such pretty, great big flowers!

By now, we were settled into Wexford County. Our nearest neighbors were more than a quarter-mile away in any direction, but distances were of no concern to the Stevens' the Svecs', the Wilsons', the Dixsons, the Clouses' and especially, the Paul family. Ah, the Paul kids really fit in with ours. Tim and David hit it off with Dan, Dave and Teddy, but when Matt dated Rose Mary, Bill made it clear that he didn't want any of his Protestant boys marrying any Catholic girls! What could he do? Rose Mary had captured his heart!

VI. Empty Nesters and Bigger Nests!

Ruth and Tom got married first, paving the way for the rest of the kids to remind us how quickly they were growing up. After Ruth and Tom's wedding, came Matt and Rose’s, then Andy & Diane’s. Tim married Lynn and moved to Mt. Pleasant to earn his bachelors in Music Education, only to divorce her three years later, while earning his Masters degree in Marquette. That was hard on all of us. Dave married Wendy, whom he met while attending college in New York, and my Baby Rosie married Bill. All of these weddings were hard on me; having my kids leave home and leave me. I went from a whole houseful in town to an empty nest at the farm just a few short years later. What saved the day? Grandkids! Little Matt was such a joy; born on my birthday! He was so easy to take care of, followed quickly by Thomas and the twins; Keith and Barb. These were such blessings for Bill and I that we never thought we'd be able enjoy. Then came Charity (a sweetheart), Bobby, Davina, Christina, Nate, Jessica and Adam. Andy and Diane had Becky, Betsy and Bryan, Matt and Rose had Jesse. Tim married Patty (now Trish) out in Colorado and gave us Megan, Katie and Annie! Our last grandchild didn't arrive until many years later; Billy was our “million-dollar baby,” born in 1996.

VII. Striking Out On My Own

I left for Kansas in 1987, with $27 to my name. I was already 54 years old. The first thing I discovered was that I needed to get my GED and a driver's license if I ever wanted to get a job. When I did, my first job was babysitting in a church nursery, for the paltry sum of $2.75/hr. Boy that was a hard job. My first trip back to Traverse was also traumatic; I told Rose I'd stay if I could find a job... which I did, as a nurse's aid at Birchwood Nursing Home, for $3.75/hr. I stayed with Ruth and Tom at first, then rented a trailer for 175/mo, and found a car, thanks to help from Al Stevens. When I decided to head back to Kansas, I packed up my car and headed out, with my niece, Joycie Anne, to drive me.

I earned my nurses' aid certification in Michigan and Kansas, quickly moving from $5/hr up to $11/hr, plus benefits, at the Carondelet Nursing Center, in Kansas City, Missouri. I enjoyed living with Mary Jo and John. They helped me get on my feet, while I earned my medication aid certification. I bought a new car when my brakes went out going down a hill, giving me quite a scare. I loved my new Ford Escort; it was a nice little car. I moved out on my own in Olathe, KS, and five years later, started LPN training. I soon discovered that I had enough education and adequate income, and didn't need to continue. I had a good job, lots of friends and made trips back to Traverse with my little car to see my kids regularly for several years.

VIII. Retirement and So Much More

When my rheumatoid arthritis prevented me from continuing work, I was put on disability and retired early. This became a blessing, as it allowed me to spend more time with my grandchildren! I moved back to Michigan to an adorable little cabin on the Manistee River, fixed the house up and, with Andy's help, planted a garden. Life was good, even with all the pain. I lived there for five years or so. I probably should never have sold that little cabin; it was so cozy. When I had to make several trips into town each week for medical appointments and got so sick, I sold the cabin and bought a trailer close to Rose and Bill. That's when I met and became good friends with Helen, my wonderful neighbor. A decade later, my health declined further, so I sold the trailer and a terrible loss and moved in with Rose and Bill, where I've been for the last eight years.

Getting pancreatic cancer was a huge blow. But the last nine months have been filled with more love and compassion with my family than I could imagine. My days are filed with visits, phone calls and FaceBook chatter with family and friends. My children gave me 20 grandkids, who, in turn, gave me 27 great-grandchildren. We've had several reunions; the big one in August brought 80 of us together, followed by more gatherings in November, December, January and February. I have about 10 visitors a day, most come on weekends. I'm so thankful to be on palliative care, with daily visits for all of my nursing, therapy and personal needs. My family has always been first and foremost in my life.

IX. Final Wishes

When it became clear that things were terminal, Tim came to live with me at Rose and Bill’s house. That was January 15th. Rose and Tim made a point to see that I was comfortable and cared for, then helped me write my living will. When no one was around, the three of us enjoyed quiet times. While I rested, Rosie had her knitting and Tim did schoolwork on his computer. It was during these times that we talked about my life story. We laughed and cried a lot as we recounted the highlights. The last thing we did together was to write my final wishes. It’s been a wonderful life, growing up with my children. I love you all and look forward to seeing you in Heaven.

X. My Final Wishes

1. I wish to have my family and friends know that I love them.

2. I wish to be forgiven for the times I have hurt my family, friends and others.

3. I wish to have my family, friends and others know that I forgive them for when they may have hurt me in my life.

4. I wish for my family and friends to know that I do not fear death. I think it is not the end, but a new beginning for me.

5. I wish for all of my family members to make peace with each other before my death, if they can.

6. I wish for my friends and family to think about what I was like before I became ill. I want them to remember me in this way after my death.

7. I wish for my family and friends and caregivers to respect my wishes even if they don’t agree with them.

8. I wish for my family and friends to look at my dying as a time of personal growth for everyone, including me.

9. I wish for my family and friends to get counseling if they have trouble with my death. I want memories of my life to give them joy and not sorrow.

10. I want my family to live good lives, to trust Jesus, and follow me to heaven.

11. I wish for all of my children, grand children and great grandchildren to stay in close, loving contact with each other, just as you have been while I was with you.

- Myrtle Jane Brimmer, March 16, 2013

Cremation will take place. A celebration of Myrtle's life will be held 1:00 pm, Saturday, March 16, 2013 at the Life Story Funeral Home. The family will greet friends at 12 noon. A luncheon will follow at the North Point Community Church.